Running Up That Hill
by Hissora
Summary: Diary entries from Pallis' point of view starting before The Exit. Contains Pallis and Adakias slash.


**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own any of these characters, they are property of Thomas Dutton.

Usually incest slash isn't my thing, but these two seem to just be MADE for each other. So I felt the need to write. :]

Enjoy~

* * *

**December 2nd**

Dear Diary,

Father told Adakias and I to start a diary today. He said, "It will keep your minds sharp and away from childish things." I can't really understand how this will help me, but I'm guessing it's more for Adakias' sake, not mine, especially since he's always in such a dreamy state. He's always worrying about his future and that fairy tale shit. I mean, I love the boy, but he seriously has to get his head out the clouds if he wants to survive in the dark. I sometimes hear him talking about how he wants to go into the light. That's the equivalent for suicide for us poor boys. I just hope he won't actually do that... I don't know what I would be without my brother. He's probably one of the only things I can live for.

Today was hard work. I sometimes hate having to be an heir. This world is so cruel and hard, I don't know how father does it and I'm not entirely sure how things will play out when it's my time. That's probably another reason to keep Adakias by my side. That boy seems to have it too easy, though.

I'm off for now, I guess. I don't really have much to say.

Pallis

* * *

**December 3rd**

Dear Diary,

I didn't do much today except spend time with Adakias. I tried to help Father with his paper work, but he just grunted and said to go spend time with my brother, so I did.

We went to the local theatre together and watched some horrible rendition of Alice in Wonderland where we both laughed our faces off. It was great. Later on I don't know what was irritating Adakias, but he seemed to be troubled. At what, I have no idea. I bought him some root beer, his favorite beverage, at the tavern and yet he seems so dull all of a sudden. I started thinking, and it might be about how instead of striking up conversation with him, people throw shrewd glances. I really never cared for how the people here thought of me, because I'm already higher up in the social food chain for my father's work that it won't matter, but it worries me that that is what is making him so blue. I think I might have to talk to him later tonight or tomorrow. I don't know exactly why, but I've always worried about my brother. Are all families like this? Or is it more? I can't say.

Pallis

* * *

**December 4th**

Dear Diary,

I had the strangest dream last night, but my memory of it isn't the greatest. What I remember most of which was my brother was there and I was sitting down reading a magazine titled 'Destiny'. I'm not really too sure what was in it. He turned to me and gave me a bouquet of flowers. I think they were damask roses. That was quite weird.

Pallis

* * *

**December 6th**

Dear Diary,

I couldn't write yesterday because Father and I had to go into the Light on some business matters and speak with the King. Luckily, we being, under the standards of the Dark, are considered royalty can pass. Adakias begged and pleaded to come, but anyone under the age of 18 can't legally pass the borders, but he has a year to go. I remember the first time going into the light when I was 18, it was so bright and weird. I still don't like that place, it's just not right. When we went yesterday, it was about the ordeal of some people from the Light getting smuggled medicine that is contraband there. We were aware of the problem before hand and have dealt with things like this before, so it wasn't any new thing of any sort.

When we got back, I was glad to get some alone time. I prepared a cup of black coffee and the local newspaper and sat in my chair.... or as Adakias calls it, my 'thrown'. It always makes me both laugh and want to punch him in the face for saying that. But it's true, I do feel a sense of pride in that dusty brown chair. It's probably the best place for me to be alone. I always say to Adakias that if he's looking for me, then don't look for me there, because obviously if I am there, then that means I want my own time.

Speaking of Adakias, I finally talked to him about him being so depressed earlier. He told me, "I have some things on my mind, things you'll probably won't understand."

I gave him a confused face and said, "Shoot."

"I just... well... Don't you ever have a feeling that you're meant for something, but you don't know just what?" He looked at me weird, "Something bigger than your skin?"

I told him I didn't understand. He said to just forget it. How can I just avert my attention something that's troubling my brother? I don't know, diary, I just want him to get back on his feet soon, that's all.

Pallis

* * *

**December 9th**

Dear Diary,

Ever since that night Adakias has been hiding in his room and only came out once for a cup of tea. Is it about what we were talking about? I'm guessing so. When he has something in mind, it seems like it clouds his vision and he stays to himself. I hate when he gets like this. Maybe I should talk with him again.

The dream came back again as well. Everything was the same except I was in a darkroom, which at first seemed really random. Then I remembered that I had a dream interpretation dictionary that I had acquired from Father a few years back. I never really had no use for it until now. I found the definitions for all the things found in the dream:

Magazine: Open to various new ideas

Damask Rose: You will find a faithful and true lover

Brother: May symbolize some aspect of relationship with him

Darkroom: Waiting to see what will happen

From what I've found in these I don't understand and I don't want to think about what they really mean.

Pallis

* * *

**December 10th**

Dear Diary,

I don't know what overcame me. I have never done something like this before.

I went to Adakias' room at Noon today. He was sitting on his bed, looking at the dirty floor. His state was a better than the other day, but worse than when he usually gets like this. I decided to sit next to him. What happened next I remember very clearly...

"Are you feeling okay?" I said and started to feel his forehead with the back of my hand to check if he had a fever. He moved away, turning his back towards me, but I just got closer. "Brothe-"

"I'm fine!" He barked, interrupting me.

Placing my right hand on his shoulder, I spoke again in a soft tone, "Brother, please, tell me what is going on in your head."

With a soft sigh, he turned and looked at me. There was a short silence where we looked at each other and I wasn't quite sure what was going on. After what seemed like a half hour, he finally replied, "I've been thinking lately. Things you probably in a hundred years would never think about or care for. But... You remember the story Mother used to tell us when we were little?"

I nodded, "That one legend... I forgot what that was called."

"Holy The Sea And The Divided Terrine."

I laughed, "What does that have to do with anything?"

He scowled back at me, unamused. "Remember that part about how with true love, the Dark and the Light will become one?" I nodded and he continued, "I think I might be the chosen one, brother."

Another silence. I was confused. That was all fiction. If that man hundred years back once separated our world, then there probably wouldn't be a way to reunite it, right? It's just meant to be a punishment for our sins. "That's just an old wives tale, Adakias!" I tried to tell him.

My brother shook his head, "No, I don't think so. Why would they do that to us when there was no possibility of being forgiven? It's my job to fix it! That's why I have to go to the Light!"

I furrowed my eyebrows and my hand left his shoulder. "That's suicide." He only shook his head at me. "No, I can't have you do that," I protested.

"You don't understand destiny, do you brother?"

I thought deeply about my past dreams after the word 'destiny'. On a complete sudden whim, I put my hand back on his shoulder, and the other on the side of his chin. I closed in him, locking lips. In all my life I have never felt such a sensation. It was alien to me, but yet just right. Soft, yet life changing. Adakias probably felt that too when he kissed me back.

After that I understood destiny very clearly.

Pallis

* * *

Yay it's over. Well, for now. This is my first time writing a fanfic in a VERY lond time, so keep that in mind.

Hope you liked it!

-Hissora


End file.
